May 19, 2011

Happy Birthday

Posted by Mommy on at 11:22 pm

My Weeble,

I missed you so much today. It was a day you would have enjoyed. I kept picturing you everywhere. On the bouncy house, in the fort, on the porch, eating cake, running around with your siblings, cousins and friends. Coming up to me and laying your head on my knee. There is such a big hole where you aren’t. Today would have been our first day with our three-year-old boy. Instead, it is our first day without our three-year-old boy. Our last day with our two-year-old boy wasn’t when we thought it would be, and we didn’t know it was the last day at the time. We would have taken your three-year-old pictures today. I found the shirt I bought for your pictures the other day. It still has the tags on it. You would have had your first haircut tomorrow. Instead, your only haircut was the lock the nurse cut for us at the hospital. I can’t believe how much I miss you. I can’t believe that a pain like this even exists. I can’t believe my baby has gone to heaven without me. I should have been there waiting for you, not you waiting for me. I hope you saw your balloons, and that you know how important you will always be to us. I hope you can remember the birthdays that we celebrated with you, and how much we love you, and how happy we are to have had you in our lives. I hope you enjoyed your first birthday in heaven. I love you, my sweet boy.

Love, Mommy

Category: Letters to Weeble Link: Happy Birthday